Standing on my Soap Box

I wrote a blog a while ago about allowing yourself to be you. I recently read a book called Brave Body Method, by Eileen Wilder, as well as watched her videos. She talks a lot about loving yourself, and seeing yourself as good sees you. I spoke to her this last week, and she asked me to do a bit of a “testimony” of sorts of what I have learned through her writings and speaking. Below is the written version of the video I sent her.

Pre-warning – highly biblical content to follow:

Back in what is now known as middle school, I was a victim of class bullies. In grade 6, I was called H-Bomb, and in grade 7, I was told I could sell the oil off my head to Esso and they would make a killing. To make matters worse, I admit that I was a little loud, and a little awkward. My self worth was in the toilet.

I married my husband when I was 26, which was a few years older than most of my friends were getting married, so that certainly didn’t help. I had three boys, and at one point one of my friends informed me that she couldn’t see me with boys, as I wasn’t feminine enough to take care of girls. I was a wife, mom, daughter, employee, but I didn’t know who I was. While I didn’t feel worthless, I did feel like I was worth-less.

I happened upon a clip of Eileen Wilder speaking with Sheila Walsh on Life Today, and she was speaking about Knowing you are Hot, and the lies we are believing about ourselves. So, I searched her out on the internet, found her Know you are Hot mini series; listed it that. I then signed up for her Brave Body Academie, and recently finished her book, The Brave Body Method. Through all of that, God spoke to my heart.

I came up with the following analogy:

I LOVE mountains… Every two years, we go west to Alberta to visit with my husband’s family. I like to take the boys to Banff. I find the mountains beautiful and awe inspiring. God reminded me that those mountains are just things he created. They are not living, they are also not meant to have a relationship with him. They are there for us to see the beauty of things God can create.

AND YET…

I was created by him for a relationship and that I am not less than the beauty in the mountains. I am loved by him, created in His image and I need to see myself as He does. I have asked for his forgiveness for my negative self talk and have asked him to help me use his “4:8 Filter” (Philippians 4:8 …whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.) and open my eyes to the beauty he created in me and guide me to the place where I can love myself and see me as worth more not worth less.

I am also a back of the pack runner (that means I run slow), and I know that exercise and following a nutritious lifestyle is how God is going to work on my weight issues. Satan wants to defeat me. I realize that while reading Eileen’s book, that every time I skip a run because I don’t feel like it, Satan wins and He (Satan) tries to remind me that He thinks I am worthless.

My goals for this year is to love myself as God loves my worthy soul, and bravely speak the truth about myself in the face of Satan’s lies.

So with this in mind, love yourself. Be willing to see yourself as Christ sees you, feel good about all that you have done, and look forward to what God has in store for you.