Chaplain's Corner

In a month I will turn 64 and that leaves a year left in the “working phase” of my life. I look towards retirement with mixed feelings: fear – because I don’t know yet how I will occupy myself and anticipation – because I am beginning to feel my age.

I don’t know if you have ever thought of it in this way but retirement is a spiritual challenge. It challenges the purpose of our life, since I was 18 years of age and on my own I knew exactly what I needed to do each morning when I woke up. That knowledge gave my life purpose and meaning. What will give my life meaning when I get up in the morning with no work to engage? That’s a bit frightening.

Spirituality is about the relational connections of our life and for me in the last 16 years I have established a lot of connections at Bethesda Hospital and Place and in the community of Steinbach. Living in Winnipeg will most likely mean that when I retire, most of those contacts, connections, relationships will be gone. That’s a bit frightening.

Spirituality is about hope and faith. This is one facet of my spirituality that will not be impacted much by my retirement. That’s a relief.

But another facet of my spirituality is the desire we all have to leave a mark on our world. I would like to think that my “working phase” of life has left an impression on my world. But I know how easily I forget many who were once part of my life. There are a few notable persons who left their stamp on my heart, but only a small percentage of the thousands that I have rubbed shoulders with as a pastor and chaplain. Will I leave an impression on anyone or will I, like the drop of water on the surface of the pond soon be absorbed and remembered no more. That is sobering.

Having grown up in the Christian Faith and having devoted my life to Christian ministry and the care of the souls of many I can’t help but remember one of the stories Jesus told. A story of three servants, two of whom served well and a third that was indifferent and self-centered. The two who served well were commended by their master with the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much; enter into the joy of your master.” As I ponder the nearly 40 years I devoted my life to God’s service I long more than anything to one day hear those words.

Every life transition is challenging in many ways and usually challenging spiritually, although we rarely think of the spiritual challenges that life transitions create. This is probably because many of us just haven’t the language to express what we are experiencing or the orientation to know that it may be spiritual in nature.

I don’t know how I will navigate the spiritual challenges coming my way, you may be struggling too as you navigate some major shift in your life. Do you feel anxious, are you unusually short tempered, are you feeling just a little bit lost or that your life has too many lose ends? Think about the possibility that what is out of sorts is spiritual in nature. Are you struggling to find meaning in this new phase of life? Have you lost or had relationships altered by the changes? Has what is happening challenged your faith and hope? Are you wondering if your life will make a difference to anyone once you are gone? These are all spiritual questions and addressing them requires some spiritual reflection and action. Even if you have never done much spiritual reflection, don’t be afraid of it, you may find that it really helps you sort things out.